WhatTheFcuk

Friday, September 08, 2006
10:15 PM

Finally my ass is back here. Out of a sudden, I feel so emotional. Wonder why too. Weird. But it juz makes me recall of the past again and how I envy at others' life. ANyway, I dun tink anyone catch up with this dumb blog alr. Durin exercise Rhino, my platoon was made to be the enemy platoon. It was slack. We juz construct obstacles den slp at nite while the others did other stuffs which I dun have a slight idea at all. Juz on the 2nd day morning, w a semi-conscious mind, I tink of u again. Its juz out of a sudden. The flow of the fond memories really made me feel terrible at that pt of time esp when Im at outfield, being controlled like a dog. I wish for ur company once again even though u've hurt me more than once. I wish to see u one more time even though it was dumb. I dun knw why things land into this stage. Perhaps Im too hot-tempered. Maybe Im too stubborn. Its hard to change my mind permanently. Its like a spring. Whenever I wan to change my mindset, after a while, it'll bounce back.

I knw. Im juz confusing myself. I was juz being kind of irritating. Even I feel irritated at myself. But I couldnt control it, whenever I wanna chat nicely w u, I start to have sarcastic comments. Ah, I really din mean it to. Im really very narrow minded. It has been 2 yrs. U've found ur happiness. & I suppose u're willing to pay some price for it. It wasnt a small price for it. & u're willing to pay for it. To be truthful, I envy him. Really, I do.I wonder how he did it. Im jealous too. Probably tat's why I still have such idiotic tots.

& yes, u're still e one I miss most. Even though I had crush on others, they've been easily 4gotten. I miss every monday u'll sms me and ask me maths. I miss coachin u TT even though tat's e one and only time. Memories are flowing again, once again.

Anyone of u may say tat Im juz too lonely, tat's y Im doing this again & again. Well, I shall stop whining.*peace.

fcuk_off`