WhatTheFcuk

Friday, June 01, 2007
8:26 PM

Heartache.

I do feel that now, again.

It feels damn horrible.

Yeah.

I don't know what to say.

Nevertheless, I've to take up the full responsibility that what had happened.

Its just plainly all my fault which causes all these to happen.

I ever thought that pull up can help me to relieve almost everything.

But today, it proves me wrong.

Its simply useless.

Till yy accompanied me.

I don't want all these to happen.

Seriously.

I don't want to......

How I wish I didn't say that to you.

I regretted.

Really.

That few words actually just tarnish everything.

But I really feel....uncared for.

why don't you ever just ask 'why do you sound so sian?'

Is it very hard to do so?

Only when I got frustrated then you just ask me once.Just once.

Its just like I'm asking you to ask me that question isn't it?

Perhaps you're feeling troubled too.

Guess I'm too selfish too.

& I really apologise for that if that's the case.

But if I really care for my friend, I'll just ask him/her again few hours later.

But, I don't get that.

Perhaps I just expected too much.

I demand too much.

I expect returns too much.

All these tarnish everything.

It really sounds as if I'm some pussies.

But I'm a human. Even though I'm a guy, I still need care and concern. I'm not some robots who just work logically.

At least some frens of mine, when they ask, I really can sense that they ask me purely just because they care for me.

At the very least, yy made me feel better.

You know what?

Even till now, whenever I have receive any sms, I really hope that its from you.

I really hate to just end it like this.

But when I think about it in a much calm manner, perhaps.

perhaps.

That might be one of the solutions to this problem.

I've been walking in circles.

I know what's the problem with me.

Somehow, maybe you know too.

But I just can't walk out of that damn circle.

Years.

One of my friend ask me this previously long time ago.

'What makes you feel so even after years?Especially when things have not even happen?'

That sets a thinking cap isn't it?

Its not that I've not tried to get out of the circle.

I've tried doing so many other things in order to get out.

Even trying to hang out with different people.

But it doesn't work.

End up, I got bounced back into the same damn circle.

& the worst thing is, the circle is getting smaller.

I kept meeting the same problem again and again.

Trying ways and ways to handle it but to no avail.

What yy said is so true.

I've to really learn how to handle emotions.

That's to say, I have absolute zero EQ.

& I shall really smack myself once again to wake myself up.

to ever learn this,' Love people around you without expecting any returns.'

Only Genuine Heart Touches People.
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Guess the only good things that happen today is my student actually ask for a change of tuition time to sunday and Lawrence is coming back in 4 hours time!

If not, I really have no idea how am I going to teach.

O man, I'm entering my ston-ing state again.

I just feel like drinking.

and perhaps, smoke.
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fcuk_off`